


(Don't Make Me) Leave Him

by RobinPlaysTrumpet15



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Nightmares, Only mentioned though, Sad, Sleep Deprivation, Sora really just needs a break guys, This kid has been through so much honestly, help these boys, literally only a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 14:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17225498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinPlaysTrumpet15/pseuds/RobinPlaysTrumpet15
Summary: Yen Sid allows them one night to sleep and prepare before sending them off on their missions. Riku spends time reflecting, and Sora would like to do a little less. Late night/early morning hours pass them by with tears and less sleep than planned. Less than twelve hours, and they part ways, and Riku just can't stand it.





	(Don't Make Me) Leave Him

**Author's Note:**

> So, that canon divergence tag is really only there because i add like half a day of time at the end of Dream Drop Distance, so that the boys can supposedly get some well deserved sleep. But other than that, there's no difference, so bear that in mind.
> 
> I hope you guys like this!

They had one night. Yen Sid had granted them that much. One night to lay down, sleep, process the incredibly trying series of events they just had to endure, spend some quiet time together, and then they had to go. They’d be… well, given their assignments, really, and then they’d be off. Both of them to who knows where, but almost certainly not together.

Riku didn’t want to leave Sora’s side again. Not now.

Not after… whatever the hell the Mark of Mastery exam had been.

Sora had left for a little while earlier in the afternoon, probably to say goodbye to his dream eaters, if Riku had to guess. But it was fine, because Riku himself had had to go and get Kairi from Destiny Islands, because Yen Sid wanted to see her for tomorrow.

He’d spent some time alone with Kairi, catching her up on what had happened and where things seemed to be heading now that Xehanort (or Fucknort as Riku had accidentally thought of him once) had returned as his full human self and was gathering thirteen… twelve? vessels to… also be him? Riku understood… kinda, but if he thought too long or hard about it, it would make less and less sense and just give him a headache, so he decided to leave it at that.

Kairi, for her part, had taken it all in stride. She knew everything that had happened leading up to this, so for the most part, it wasn’t entirely as if this was completely out of the ordinary. Which was… wrong on so many levels, honestly, that this was just… normal…

What she did get hung up on was when Riku started talking about Sora. About his… nightmares. He himself only sort of knew what Sora had been dreaming about, falling into the darkness in his heart, but any exact details were lost on him. Sora hadn’t elaborated, and so far he was acting pretty normal, too. Just happy and excitable and bubbly and… Sora. He was celebrating Riku passing their exam like he’d been the one to be named a Keyblade Master. Which, for Riku’s part, he thought was borderline bullshit that he wasn’t.

Sora had proven himself time and again that he could wield the keyblade almost like no other person alive could. So the fact that he’d been stripped of most of his powers and abilities just because he’d made a mistake and nearly become Xehanort’s vessel (on accident!) was ridiculous. It made Riku’s blood boil just a little, clenching his teeth and curling his right hand into a fist in his pocket. One or two times, he had been just a little concerned he might accidentally summon his keyblade with the urge to fight… something.

Logically, Riku knew that it hadn’t been Yen Sid to take away Sora’s powers, but he was still the current target for Riku’s illogical anger. He had a feeling the old wizard knew about it, too, and Riku was sure that once he’d processed a little more and calmed down, he’d owe Master Yen Sid an apology.

But for now, he was just waiting for Sora to come back from wherever he’d run off to.

And Kairi was looking at him a little funny.

He watched her too for a second with a quizzical look. “What?”

She smiled softly and shook her head, turning away from him and looking out at the colorful, darkening sky.

“Nothing,” she replied gently. “You’re just… you.”

Riku’s eyebrows furrowed. Of course he was him. Why wouldn’t he be?

“What do you mean?”

Kairi took a deep breath and left out a contented sigh. “It’s just… you were so different… before all this. You’d changed… But now, well, it’s like you’re the same person you were, a long time ago. Back when we really were kids.”

His gaze fell away from her, shifting to some point in the sky, low to his left. Nothing was there, just an ombre of orange and pink from the setting sun.

She was right, he supposed. He really had been different. He’d been distant and probably a little too mean to Sora for absolutely no reason at all. Only that he wanted so badly to leave that island, and somehow he was sure that the raft wasn’t going to help them. He’d been obsessed with that door in the secret place. Why it had no handle, why it wouldn’t open, where it might go.

Sometimes he couldn’t believe just how stupid he’d been. He’d hurt Sora so badly through all of that, and he’d still managed to become strong. Stronger than Riku, stronger than Donald or Goofy, stronger, even, than Maleficent at the time. He’d willingly sacrificed himself, released his own heart, just so that Kairi might wake up and that they could end all of this.

But now… Sora was still just as strong. And Riku supposed he was stronger than he had been then, too. Sora certainly was. But all Riku wanted now was to protect Sora, protect their friends. He wanted to help put the worlds at peace, and once that was over… he just wanted to go home. At least for a little while. Just go back to Destiny Islands and spend a summer in the heat and the warmth of a familiar sun, playing or lounging with his friends, kicking up sand and water like nothing else could possibly matter. That their little world was all there was to worry about.

He remembered being like that. Back when they were younger. When he’d been ten or so, and Sora and Kairi had been nine and running all over the place, playing adventure and imagining things to fight and people to rescue. Never had he thought they might actually do that. Or that it wouldn’t be as fun as they’d always thought it would be.

But… Kairi was right.

Riku, at the age of seventeen, was now a lot more like when he’d been five, meeting a kind young man named Terra. Concerned with protecting Sora and his friends. But really just ready to get back to playing.

Riku smiled, leaning back and resting on his hands next to his second oldest best friend. He sighed too, mimicking her on accident.

“I guess you’re right.”

*

Sora found them like that, sitting on the steps of the mysterious tower, watching the sunset like there wasn’t anything in the worlds to be worried about.

Riku had been staring up above them, where he could see bright shining stars in the midnight blue of the early evening sky. Riku had always liked that color. The one that you could see above and behind you as the sun crept down below the horizon, gilding the world it could still touch in a layer of gold.

But then his gaze had been blocked by messy, spikey brown hair and a wide, brilliant smile that was brighter than any star. Sora had probably meant to startle him, but honestly Riku was just too content right where he was. So he just smiled up at his best friend, taking in the deep, ocean blue of Sora’s eyes, the shade so like and unlike that of the sky above them.

“I’m back!” Sora announced.

Riku smiled wider, chuckling and sitting up straighter on the steps as Sora moved away from him again.

“You were gone longer than you said you’d be,” Riku teased.

Sora’s hands found their way up behind his head as he smiled sheepishly at him. “What? I like to be thorough when I say goodbye to my friends!”

Riku’s smile nearly faltered, but he forced it to stay in place, hopefully just as easy and content as it had been.

Sora laughed lightly. “Well, anyway, hey! When did Kairi get here?”

Kairi stood up from her spot on the stairs and hugged Sora. He reciprocated and squeezed her tightly, still waiting for a response from one of them.

“I went to get her from the islands. Master Yen Sid wants to see her for something, but before you ask-” he gave Sora a pointed look, “no, I don’t know what he wants. So just leave it and I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.”

The two separated and Sora sighed dramatically. “Fine!”

Kairi laughed at him.

“Well, anyway,” Riku said, pushing himself up to his feet, “it’s getting a little late, and we have to be up early tomorrow.”

He turned back to the door behind them, hearing Kairi say, “And we know Sora! He’s up with the sun when he doesn’t have to be.”

Riku glanced over his shoulder at the two behind him, seeing the brunette’s sheepish smile directed at them.

“But he’ll sleep ‘til noon if he does have to be.”

Kairi laughed as Sora let out an indignant “hey!” and suddenly Riku had a sixteen year old latching onto his back, play fighting with him. A sixteen year old who was now significantly heavier than the last time he’d jumped on Riku with the intent of revenge.

So just as the seventeen year old had pushed open the door to the tower, the solid weight of his best friend sent him tumbling to the floor. They landed, neither of them significantly hurt, and after a split second of shock, Riku found himself barking out a startled laugh and attempting to turn over to defend himself. They really just ended up rolling around on the floor together, giggling and laughing, tickling each other more than actually attempting to get the upper hand.

Kairi was still in the doorway, nearly doubled over in a fit of laughter.

And that was how the king found them as he came down the steps, looking for them. He’d laughed in that almost squeak like way that he does, and good naturedly gotten the two of them to break it up.

“Master Yen Sid told me to show you guys where you can stay for the night,” he’d explained, leading them up the stairs and talking to Kairi, asking why she was there.

Mickey left Sora and Riku in front of a door on their left. The tower was a lot bigger on the inside than one would really think, but Riku supposed that was just how magical towers were.

“You two can use this room whenever you need to stay here. There’s a bathroom that’s the next door you come to up the stairs.”

Riku and Sora nodded, thanking him in Yen Sid’s stead.

“Well, g’night, fellas!” Then he’d led Kairi further up into the tower after she hugged them both goodnight.

Riku opened the door and was the first to enter the room. It was a cool little room, plenty big enough for two people, but still a cozy size with a full bed against one wall, an odd looking grandfather clock right across from it, and a desk under the window, covered in delicate looking gadgets and papers with quills and inkwells.

“I wonder what those do?” Sora muttered almost to himself, moving around the bed over to the desk.

“I don’t know, but you probably shouldn’t touch them,” Riku supplied.

Sora turned away from inspecting the desk, rolling his eyes with a good natured smile. He hadn’t seemed particularly eager to touch them, but he was still Sora. Besides, old habits die hard, Riku thought, and he was used to trying to steer the younger teen away from danger at this point.

“Yeah, yeah, Mom. Whatever you say.”

Riku closed the bedroom door and shoved Sora’s shoulder lightly when he was close enough.

“Shut up and get ready for bed.”

Sora breathed out a chuckle at him, stripping off his jacket, shoes, and gloves. Riku draped his own vest over the back of a chair sitting alone against one wall, kicking off his shoes as well and leaving them there by the armchair. When he turned back to his friend, now sitting on one edge of the bed, he found that Sora actually could take the red pocket like pouches off of his shorts.

He’d never actually given that any thought before, but it was something interesting to know.

“Ready?”

Sora nodded. “Believe it or not, I feel like I haven’t slept in a week.”

Riku lowered himself onto the opposite edge of the bed, content to just sit there for awhile.

“Yeah, I believe it. Nightmares tend to take a lot out of a person…”

He sensed more than saw Sora stiffen. Riku turned to him, giving him a look, surveying the brunette as he stilled in his efforts to slide beneath the covers.

Sora forced a chuckle. “Yeah, they do.” Then he lowered himself fully onto the mattress, turning on his side away from Riku and pulling the thin blanket up to his shoulder.

“Well, goodnight.”

Riku sighed. “Goodnight.”

He flicked the switch on the wall for the light and followed suit, laying on top of the covers, facing the wall and its lone armchair.

*

Riku startled barely awake some time later. A glance out the crescent moon shaped window told him it hadn’t been very long, as the sun was still setting. But a look at the clock said it was something like one or two in the morning.

Which was when Riku remembered that time didn’t… flow on this world. It was too close to the edge of the known and unknown or something like that, so time here was stopped in an eternal sunset. This clock probably followed the time of some other world.

Riku didn’t know what to do with that information, but his still sleepy brain said it was too early to be awake yet.

He heaved a deep breath, shifting and turning onto his other side. But the darkness of the room didn’t seem nearly dark enough from behind his eyelids. He squinted them open, searching around the view before him.

The other side of the bed was void a certain keyblade wielder, and the strange, convoluted lamp on the corner of the desk was on and casting a dim, yellow glow through the room. The blanket was rumpled and lying in disarray around the spot Sora should have been occupying.

“Sora?” Riku croaked into the near silent room.

He lifted himself onto his elbow, turning and glancing around.

Behind him, on the other side of the room, Sora was sitting in the armchair. His eyes were drooping as he stared off into space at some fixed point in the room. He had one knee pulled up close to his chest, cheek resting on it. His other foot was tucked up on the chair behind his other heel, and his hands locked on his ankle, fingers shifting and pressing and rubbing at his skin absentmindedly.

He looked miserable.

“Sora,” Riku mumbled, pushing himself up into a sitting position and swinging his legs over the side of the mattress.

Sora blinked a couple times, turning his gaze onto Riku.

“Why are you over there?” the older teen asked.

Sora shrugged a little, blue eyes falling to the stone floor.

Riku frowned. Sora glanced at him quickly before shrinking further into himself. If it was possible.

“Did you have a bad dream?”

Sora shook his head, but shrugged immediately after, like he wasn’t sure.

“Did you sleep at all?” Riku asked, settling his elbows on his knees and looking over his friend’s form carefully. “It’s only been a few hours, I think.”

Sora actually shook his head at that. When he spoke, his voice was rough and gummy the way one’s voice was after a night of no water. “I fell asleep for a little bit, but… I woke up and didn’t want to go back to sleep…”

Riku sighed understandingly. “I understand the feeling… But, you still have to sleep, Sora.”

Sora’s hands tightened on his ankle as he shook his head a little more firmly. “No. I don’t want to.”

Riku hesitated for a few seconds. Then he shifted again, letting himself slide off the bed to rest on the floor. He scooted closer, coming forward until his legs were crossed and his knees were nearly bumping the legs of the armchair. He looked up at Sora, catching his eyes and holding them in his gaze.

“Talk to me,” he prompted.

Sora looked away for only a second, before bringing his eyes back to Riku’s.

“I dreamed I couldn’t use the keyblade at all… Like… when you gave me that wooden sword and told me to use that instead…”

Riku’s frown deepened. He hated thinking about that. He didn’t like being reminded of that. He did it enough on his own, and he hated that Sora was still suffering from it…

“And… and I was trying to fight Xemnas again, but you weren’t there this time, and the keyblade wouldn’t appear at all… I couldn’t use magic either, and I was out of potions… Then I was chasing him down a hallway and then it was the secret place on the island. Kairi was there and said I was a sorry excuse for a savior… You were by the tree and said it was obvious that I wouldn’t pass the exam because I never study anyway, and had just been faking it all along…”

Riku’s mouth dropped open with a pained little sound, unsure what to say. Sora’s eyes were rimmed in red with pools of clear tears welling up and threatening to spill down the existing tear tracks that Riku could see clearly now, up close. Although his voice was still steady, he sounded like he was pushing air past some painful knot in his chest.

“I just… I feel so guilty… It was an accident-” Sora’s breath hitched painfully in his throat. “I… I didn’t know I was falling into Xehanort’s trap! I just… wanted to talk to them. I wanted to talk to Namine and Roxas and… that girl… the one with the black hair. I thought… I thought they might need help. I thought you and Kairi needed help… and those other two… the girl with the blue hair and the boy with the stern face...” Sora scrubbed his hands up over his face suddenly, huffing breath harshly to clear his throat. He let his knee fall, his foot slipping off of the chair’s cushion, landing lightly on Riku’s crossed shins.

“I didn’t do it on purpose! And… and now I’ll have to start all over again!” Sora cried suddenly, his hands curled in lose fists and rested gently over his eyes. “I-I already did this twice! I learned it once and had to learn it again a year later, and now we’re here and I have to do it again and… I don’t care that I wasn’t made a master, but… I feel so stuck… I’ll never get out of this cycle. Learning and losing and starting over…”

Riku put a hand on Sora’s foot, curling his fingers just barely around the curve of his ankle. Sora had always been slimmer than Riku had been, but the thought stuck in his head startlingly clearly. Just how small Sora was. Riku could probably put wrap his hand all the way around Sora’s ankle and not have to reach.

Riku shook himself. No, he wouldn’t get distracted. Distraction was a coping mechanism for himself, not for dealing with Sora.

“I just… How was I supposedly to know? I could… hear you… telling me not to chase the dreams but… I didn’t understand- I just… wanted you guys… I wanted all of you-” Sora slumped back in the chair, letting his head fall back and his hands fall to his lap. Tears flowed down his cheeks, his eyebrows pinched together, his mouth open slightly in a silent, breathy cry.

Riku let out a shaky breath too, his heart aching in his chest at the sight of his best friend.

“I’m- sorry. I- I should have listened… I’m so- so sorry, I- I just wanted to talk to them… I want to talk to all of them… You and Kairi and Roxas and Namine… even the ones I didn’t know… They’re important, I just know it… I’m so sorry, Riku!” Sora sobbed.

Rink pinched his eyes closed against the tears stinging at them, willing them away. He gripped Sora’s ankle more firmly, tugging a little and catching the brunette’s attention. Sora’s red rimmed eyes found his.

“C’mere,” Riku breathed, opening his arms, and the next thing he knew, Sora was complying.

The younger teen shifted and fell into Riku’s lap, straddling him and burying his face into his neck. His arms clung around Riku’s shoulder, fingers clenched into the fabric of his tank top.

Riku shushed him, holding him as tightly as possibly, and then tighter still. He whispered nonsense words and sentences only half formed, willing Sora to hear him, believe him.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” and “It’s not your fault.”

“I believe you,” and “I know it’s hard.”

“No one’s mad at you,” and “No one’s disappointed in you.”

“I love you.”

Words just kept spilling out, like if he talked just a little bit more, just a little bit longer, then everything might actually be okay. Like the longer he held Sora, the more he might actually be able to keep the promises he was making.

As if tears and hugs in the early morning hours of a world that time passes by would fix the broken pieces of a damaged heart.

*

The next morning, Riku and Mickey were sent off with Kairi before Sora was done with his shower in the bathroom.

No time to say goodbye.

As they left, Riku could feel his heart aching, calling out for him to turn back, to find Sora and take a hold of him. For him to never let go. He had to be there. He had to protect Sora, no matter what.

But there wasn’t time. There were more pressing matters, and Sora was capable, and strong, despite how pained he might feel.

Time heals all wounds. That’s what Riku’s father used to say.

They didn’t have this kind of time though…

And Riku was scared for the outcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know if you found any grammar mistakes so I can go in and correct them. I left this story a little open ended so that if I ever decided to come back to it and add on more, I was able to. Let me know if you enjoyed this, and if/what you would like to see if I continued this storyline. Thanks!


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